Watchmen Trailer

Considering two of the best movies I saw this year were superhero movies based on comics (Iron Man and Hellboy II), I guess I'll look forward to Watchmen next year. Nice trailer...

How Pathetic Has the American Male Become?

I understand it's just a movie, but I went into Wanted expecting a fun Summer movie ride and I walked out depressed at the state of the American male.

Warning, there are spoilers below, so if you want to see two hours of slow-mo bullets piercing heads and the laws of physics being violated, then you may not wish to read further.

Wanted is Matrix without Matrix's heart and soul. There's lots of slow-mo action, some of it quite good but most of it simply ridiculous. In one scene, a car slides sideways, hits a small lateral crack in the pavement, vaults 20 feet over a phalanx of police cars, hits the side of a bus with its wheels, pushes the bus over on its side, and drives off the bus to safety. In another scene, a single bullet pierces the heads of six different people consecutively. Some movies this season are about super heroes, but this one is about super bullets!

I'm not going to complain about the ridiculously unbelievable action sequences in Wanted; instead, I'll complain about what it says about my gender. The movie's about a feckless office worker named Wesley Gibson who lives a miserable life ruled by shrew-like women--his obese boss is a bully and his girlfriend is an unfaithful witch. The flick is one of the most misogynistic movies I can recall in quite some time. (Of course, his one and only buddy is no better--he's screwing Wesley's girlfriend and actually borrows money from our protagonist to buy the condoms to do so.)

Wesley comes to learn that he has special powers and is the son of the world's greatest assassin, which is pretty lucky for the guy since the movie makes clear that working in an office is the equivalent of modern slavery. Stripped of his dignity in the most crude and cartoonish of ways, Wanted makes sure the audience cannot miss how unmanly it is for Wesley to work in a cubicle. As a result, his conversion to an assassin's way of life has less to do with family honor and almost everything to do with the fact the modern male is a wimpy, downtrodden, sterile, powerless being who can really only realize his potential by causing mayhem and death.

I have nothing against fantasies where people escape a burdensome existence for something more exciting (see Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, etc.), but I do object when the exciting way of life is nothing more than an adrenalin rush from killing others. The writers, sensing they needed to give Wesley some semblance of a conscience, paste a fraudulent and brief scene where he hesitates on his first assassination assignment. Luckily, he quickly learns it's all right to kill other people, and his momentary lapse gives him script license to smile lustily as he mows people down from that point forward.

The men in the audience at my showing seemed to eat it up, and that is what I found depressing. How sad have we males become that we empathize with the powerlessness of an office employee and cheer as the character graduates from puberty to manhood by sending bullets into people.

Maybe I just take things too seriously, but I found Wanted to be more disturbing than entertaining. Perhaps the misogynistic, misanthropic ideas are just in the heads of the film makers, but heaven help us if they've tapped into the psyche of the modern man.

Remembering George Carlin

The first video below has George speaking of death. He seems more interested in working out a few demons than in humoring his audience which is, after all, classic Carlin.

If you'd like to see George at his most famous, view the seven dirty words--just don't do it at work. It doesn't seem as edgy or scandalous as it once did, but that's because George broke the barrier and pop culture followed. Nowadays, half the words on his list are in an average South Park episode.

While it may not be Carlin at his funniest, I'll always have a special place in my heart for his role in "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure." Enjoy this brief, hysterically-dated short film about the flick.

"I'm not left handed either"

The sound and video could be better, but please enjoy one of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite movies: The first sword fight from "The Princess Bride."

Requiem For A Day Off

The fake trailer for the fake movie "Requiem For A Day Off" is terrific. It uses imagery from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and the music "Lux Aeterna" from the Requiem For A Dream soundtrack.

Ferris never looked so creepy.

Is It Important for the President to Know How to Use a Computer?

I find it hard to believe in this day and age that just about anyone--even a 70-year-old presidential candidate--especially a 70-year-old presidential candidate--doesn't know how to use a computer. In this video, McCain is asked whether he uses a PC or a Mac, and he responds he is "illiterate." (He then is asked what his favorite movie was "this year", and he answers "Viva Zapata,"a 56-year-old, black and white, monophonic movie. Hell, at least it was a talkie!)

Much debate will occur this election season about John McCain's age. I'm less concerned that he's 70 than that he'd be 78 at the completion of two terms, should he win. More concerning than his age is whether he can understand the way the world is changing. Sure, he can rely on assistants to check the news and correspond with advisers via email, but how can John McCain understand the social and political implications of Internet trends such as social media, user-generated content, and blogging?

A couple months ago, a protester being imprisoned sent a brief Twitter about his plight, and he was released thanks to the political pressure and publicity generated by his brief broadcast SMS. Tell that story to McCain, and he won't be able to make any sense out of it! If McCain were told that the RedCross was informing people about its Iowa flood relief efforts by using a blog, Twitter, Flickr, RSS feeds, and Utterz mobile audio, he'd need every last one of those terms explained to him!

We're moving into a new age of communication, information sharing, and collaboration. Shouldn't we expect our president to have some experience with the tools we Americans use every day? To me, this isn't a trivial thing like the first George Bush being amazed at a grocery store scanner 10 years after they became common in stores. The president's knowledge or ignorance of grocery technology won't impact his decisions; but to me, the Internet is so integral to daily life and to international politics, it's hard for me to imagine our president will lead us into the second decade of the millennium thinking a pocket calculator is the latest and greatest in personal technology.

What do you think? Should our next president have at least passing knowledge of blogging, email, the Drudge Report, LiveLeak, and way international borders are becoming less relevant as data, information, news, and collaboration spreads across the globe?

Movies About Which You and I Disagree

Do you have movies that you love that everyone else seems to hate? Or vice versa?

I thought I'd share two lists: movies I hated but everyone else loved, and my top movies I loved that everyone else hated (or at least they were indifferent to.)

Which movies have prompted you to have a contrary opinion?

Movies I loved that others hated (or almost hated)

• Titanic: I know it was the biggest movie of all time, so perhaps it's odd to have it in the "others hated" category, but it's become quite fashionable in the decade since Titanic reigned at the box office to deride it as a shallow love story pasted onto a disaster flick. Sure, the romance charted no new territory (although it was enlivened by DiCaprio's and Winslet's terrific chemistry), but the lovingly crafted ambiance of the era and the spectacular realization of the ship, not just as an amazing setting but as a character whose loss is deeply felt, won me over. I believe this is the only movie that I've seen in the theater three times, at least in my adult life.


• The Abyss: Yes, I'm a James Cameron fan. And yes, the ending of this movie was a letdown. But up until it's final couple of minutes, The Abyss is a spooky, tense, exciting, and surprising thrill ride. It never caught on at the box office and I know people who dismiss it with a shrug, but this one of my favorite films of the late 80s.


• Children of Men: I thought this film was a masterpiece. Critics agreed, but almost no one to whom I've recommended the film liked it. I was swept away in the somber mood of a society in mourning and barely hanging onto its sanity because women are unable to conceive. I think the handheld camera work (which for me added urgency and realism) bothered many. Others had difficulties with Clive Owen's anti-hero, Michael Caine's eccentric, and the discordant jolts of humor sprinkled throughout the tense film (which to me felt like real life). Others complained that no explanation was offered as to the sudden human infertility or questioned why the protagonists' strove so greatly to find "The Human Project," a group about which they knew nothing but myths and stories, but to me these are what made the film so realistic--it's the story of real people facing problems they cannot solve and clinging to any hope they can. Children of Men is a very vivid and evocative film.


• Artificial Intelligence: A.I.: Many consider this one of Steven Spielberg's worst movies (although that distinction is well earned by the dreary, unfunny 1941), but I found this a challenging, thought-provoking, moving, and beautiful movie. The multiple endings, somewhat uncertain finale, and perceived sappiness of the film's conclusion turned off many, but I felt the themes of humanity, love, and loss were intense and deeply felt.
  
• Into the West: No, this is not the TV miniseries. Nor is it a western. This small Irish film was released in 1992, and then because the studio so believed in it, it received a rare second release. Alas, neither time did audiences catch this heartfelt movie, which follows two Irish children and a mythical horse on a journey across modern Ireland. This is one of those children's movies that really wasn't made for kids and should appeal to any adult with a heart.

Movies I hated that others loved

• Adaptation: Normally, I'm a fan of Spike Jonze and Charlie Kaufman. (Being John Malkovich and Eternal Sunshine are brilliant!) But Adaptation felt mean-spirited and achingly obvious. It's a one-joke movie: the writer doesn't want his movie to become a shallow Hollywood film, which is exactly what the film itself becomes. How very meta. The random violence and characters who change personalities as quickly as they change outfits left me very cold.


• Forrest Gump: Normally, I'm the first guy to love an allegorical fantasy, but I could barely sit through this film. Over time, the coincidences stacked one upon another didn't seem ironic or funny; they just seemed obvious and clumsy.


• Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby: Many people seemed to love this movie. Perhaps I am the wrong person to critique this film considering I'm not a NASCAR fan. That said, this seemed like a very thin movie with very few funny bits. Sure, I love the scenes around the family dinner table, but just about everything else failed to live up the sorts of hilarious antics I've come to expect from Will Ferrell.


• Jerry Maguire: To me, this is the king of movies I don't understand. I walked out of the theater thinking Cameron Crowe had just perpetrated one of cinema's greatest acts of cynicism--he'd created a love story without love and a tale of inspiration without inspiration. It slowly became apparent to me he intended it (and others found it) to be heartfelt. I still don't get it. From the very first scene when Zellweger's mousy character falls in love with the sound of Cruise's voice (as he is trying to pick up a woman by telling her how he was embarrassed into getting engaged to his fiance) to the final scene (the unbelievable and hammy transformation of a fallen and injured athlete into an acrobat doing flips off of the stand), this movie seemed faker than a $3 bill. "You complete me," my butt; you didn't even start me!

So, what are some movies you've seen where your opinion seems to differ with just about everyone else's?

Indiana Jones Joins the X-Men

I saw Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull tonight. I liked it, but I didn't love it. It's fun, but as with all things George Lucas has touched in the past decade, it should've been much better.

My problem with the latest Indiana Jones flick is that the title character, although once very human, has now become a cartoon super hero. Maybe Steven and George got tired of seeing others make blockbuster films about men in tights and decided to make their own. But whatever the reason, the inability of the movie makers to create any sense that the protagonists are in danger really drains the movie of much of its excitement.

Speaking of spoil, don't read on if you haven't seen the movie and care about spoilers, but here's a short list of the things that happen to the newly indestructible Indy: Falls through windshields without a scratch; frequently is shot at with machine guns without being struck; is a passenger in a vehicle that speeds off a cliff, only to be gently set down after getting caught in the branches of the world's most improbable tree; gets thrown by a nuclear blast hundreds of yards while hiding in a refrigerator and immediately tumbles out of it in one piece; survives not one, not two, but three falls of hundreds of feet down waterfalls with jagged rocks at the bottom; and stands in a maelstrom of boulders the size of houses--including one that strikes his viewing perch--but remains standing in harm's way rather than taking shelter.

The invincibility doesn't stop with Indy. The new, young version of Indy, played by Shia LaBeouf, manages to straddle two speeding jeeps as they race across a jungle floor smoother than any highway. Later, he gets caught in a vine that mysteriously lifts him to the tree top where he instantly befriends monkeys who show him how to swing from vine to vine more confidently than Tarzan ever managed. (Heck, even Peter Parker had a couple of mishaps the first time he tried to navigate by swinging around.)

I don't expect or want realism in my Indiana Jones adventure, but when the characters become invincible and face no danger, there is little reason for moviegoers to invest themselves in the characters' cinematic challenges. In this movie, the only thing missing on Indiana Jones is a cape and pair of tights.

Worse yet, Harrison Ford plays Indy like a guy who knows he can't be so much as scratched no matter what happens. In the earlier movies, you saw fear and sensed danger when Indy was clinging to the sagging hood ornament of a speeding Nazi truck, facing a raging fire while tied to a chair, or fleeing from an oncoming boulder. In Crystal Skull, Ford can't be bothered to show much of anything but a bemused and confident swagger; it's like Indy started hanging with the dudes of Ocean's Thirteen.

Crystal Skull is a wild ride and worth the price of a ticket for some laughs, a few jolts, and a lot of nostalgia. It's just too bad the humanity has been drained from Indy. Maybe for the next movie (and you know there's going to be another), it's time for Lucas and Spielberg to step aside and see what some fresh blood can do for the series. I wouldn't mind seeing what kind of excitement might be crafted by a filmmaker like Peter Jackson, Guillermo del Toro, Alfonso Cuarón, Martin Campbell, Sam Raimi, or Paul Greengrass.

Hillary Vader versus Barack Skywalker

Someone has a lot of time on his or her hands and a great deal of affection for Barack Obama.

Ewok Gospel Song

"Let's not forget about the big-hearted friends who were only one-meter tall. I'm talking 'bout the Ewoks..."

Look for the cameo from a Star Wars face at the 1:30 mark.

Juno Abridged Script

The-Editing-Room has a hilarious spoof on the Juno script. I really liked the movie and I was pleased first-time writer Diablo Cody took home the Oscar. Still, you have to love the way this faux script dissects the movie's excessive quirkiness:

ELLEN sits down to talk to her father and stepmother.

ELLEN PAGE: So, I'm pregnant.

J.K. SIMMONS: WHAT YOU'RE FUCKING 16 WHAT THE FU-

ELLEN PAGE: Dad, you're in an indie flick, remember?

J.K. SIMMONS: Oh right. Sorry, I didn't mean to blow up, I meant to make a dry, sarcastic remark.

ALLISON JANNEY: And I'd like to follow that up with a second barb.

ELLEN PAGE: It's Michael Cera's. The kid from Arrested Development.

J.K. SIMMONS: Huh. I didn't think he had it in him.

ELLEN PAGE: What, sperm?

Read the entire "script" on Cracked.com.

Ten Things I Hate About Commandments

With Charleston's passing, I am not sure of the fate of this upcoming movie. (Rated PG for one bad word--don't use the speakers at work.)

Every Sperm is Sacred

The incomparable "Every Sperm is Sacred" scene from Monty Python's Meaning of Live is quintessential Python: Edgy, funny, sacrilegious, insightful, very British, and delightfully over the top.

This one may offend a few people, but if you haven't seen it and have 10 minutes for what some consider one of the funniest scenes in movie history, here you go. (This should be considered NSFW, in case that wasn't evident.)

The Big Lebowski

Just watched the Big Lebowski for the first time ever. Now you can too, thanks to Hulu.com and MartyFeldmanizeMe.

People always told me I'd like it. They were right. It's a strange trip, dude. I mean, Dude.

Star Wars (Sorta)

The people who produced this 2-minute video remake of Star Wars spared no expense. No seriously, the spared no expense!

Mighty Quiz

Here's an interesting new site: MightyQuiz.com allows you to enter your own quiz questions to add to their database. You categorize your questions, which permits site visitors to take quizzes on a single subject as entered by a variety of people. And, as you can see below, you can create your own widget for your Web site.

Enjoy the Movies quiz:

Jack Nicholson embarrasses himself and Hillary

A couple weeks ago, a viral video appeared on the Internet. It featured Will.I.Am and a number of his friends turning the words of Barack Obama into a song. The word were inspirational, the video was emotional, and the video touched many people.

Jack Nicholson thought he'd try his hand at this viral video thing that the kids are doing, and so the video below is his idea of an endorsement for Hillary. I find this clip embarrassing to both him and to Hillary.

Where Will.I.Am drew inspiration from Obama's words, Jack pulls random unrelated clips from the scripts of movies in which he's acted. Where Will.I.Am featured Obama, Jack apparently found no worthy reason to feature Hillary herself. And perhaps most tellingly, where Will.I.Am summed up his video with the motivational words "Yes we can," Jack's idea of an endorsement is "There's nothing on this earth sexier, believe me gentlemen, than a woman you have to salute in the morning."

If this is the kind of inspiration that Hillary generates, she's even more doomed than I thought. And Jack Nicholson didn't do himself any favors--instead of the hip, mature, funny person he has come to portray in films, he instead looks like a clueless, 70-year-old man embarrassingly missing the mark with an unfunny and inappropriate video.

New Ironman Trailer

I'm not really a fan of superhero movies, but Robert Downey Jr. makes this one look terrific.

Wanted: A Smarter Trailer

If you watched the Super Bowl, you saw a trailer for "Matrix 4". Or "Wanted." One would be excused for not being able to tell the difference.

Here is a different trailer for "Wanted," in which Morgan Freeman tries to make something stupid sound really, really serious. In his best Matrix voice, he asks a young man if he wishes to "remain ordinary, pathetic, beat down, coasting through a miserable existence like sheep" or to "take control of his own destiny... releasing the caged wolf you have inside." (Umm, can I think about it and get back to you tomorrow?)

As Morgan intones the final question--"Sheep or wolf?"--the trailer makes sure to remove all doubt, as if the people who produced the trailer were afraid we dumb moviegoers might mistake the movie for a drama and not a thriller.

Perhaps this movie will be fun, but it looks more like a dumb, derivative flick that will kill the momentum James McAvoy is receiving from his performance in "Atonement".

Disappointed in Oscor Noms

I'm nothing but a movie fan in a flyover state, so I know my opinion isn't worth a nickel, but I was disappointed that "Sweeney Todd" failed to win more nominations. I thought it was a better movie than at least three of the five movies nominated for Best Picture (Atonement, Juno, and Michael Clayton) and deserving of more recognition than for just Johnny Depp, Art Direction, and Costume Design.

If you believe the buzz, the Best Actor and Best Supporting Actor awards have already been delivered to Daniel Day-Lewis and Javier Bardem (and the buzz is probably right, in this case.)

The Best Actress category is much more interesting, with Julie Christie, Marion Cotillard, and Ellen Page all being talked up. In the Support Actress category, I'm rooting for Tilda Swinton who blew me away in "Michael Clayton", but I suspect Cate Blanchett may be too strong a candidate for "I'm Not There."

The animated film category will be interesting to watch, with art house favorite “Persepolis” competing against the critically praised box office hit, “Ratatouille.”

Disney got three of the five nominations for Original Song with tunes from the movie "Enchanted", but I think the one song nominated from the film "Once" will take home the statuette. (It's actually a little surprising the critical favorite "Once" only got a single nod.)

And the fact the Academy could possibly even think of nominating “Norbit” for anything, much less go ahead and do it (Makeup) is astounding.

Funny thing is that I just realized I'll be in Los Angeles on the night of the Oscars, unless they get canceled due to the writers strike. What's especially odd is that we were able to get rates just over $100 for the Omni. I know the stars will be staying elsewhere, but even in a year where the ceremony is up in the air, you'd think the hotel rates would be astronomical over that weekend, wouldn't you?

Guess I better pack my tux for this trip!