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I won't pretend to understand how or if people go one place or another after death, but if there is a Hell, I am pretty sure Tomas Delgado of Spain will find himself there.
I am not sure which of the ten commandments or seven deadly sins this falls under, but Tomas is suing the family of a dead 17-year-old bicyclist for the damage done to his car in the accident that killed the youth. Both parties were at fault--the young man was cycling alone at night without reflective clothing or a helmet and Tomas was driving at excessive speed. As a result of the accident, the cyclist was killed but the really tragic thing, according to Tomas, is that his Audi A8 sustained 20,000-Euros worth of damage.
I understand the kid should've been riding safely, but what kind of cold and callous person sues the family of a dead child to recover the damages done in the accident that killed him?
I was watching this video on YouTube (below), which would be funny if it weren't so true. And that got to me to thinking about Ann Coulter: How could one person be so vile, insensitive, crass, uninformed, arrogant, ugly, hateful, fearful, callous, stupid, offensive, bitter, and evil?
And then I wondered why it is conservatives keep allowing Ms. Coulter to speak at their conventions and on their shows. Sure, if you are of a certain political bent you might hear her rants and laugh with a "I can't believe she just said that" giggle.
But in the end, does she reflect well on the conservatives and Republicans for whom she claims to speak? Does she advance their cause? Do her words and actions invite those in the middle to join the fold and vote Republican? No, in fact I think she does a pretty damn good job of alienating many by representing the Right as being bigoted, shallow, and mean. While she may preach to the faithful, Ann Coulter is actually undermining the goals of the Republican party and the conservative movement.
And then it struck me: Ann Coulter is a liberal plant who is willfully sabotaging the Right. It's brilliant! By striking at the heart of the beast with their own words and rhetoric--by getting them to laugh (on national TV and YouTube) at the most heinous, reprehensible, and biased statements--Ann Coulter is destroying the Republican Party one conservative issue at a time.
Suddenly, I don't hate her so much. It's a brilliant strategy! Now, I wonder if there is a way we could get her on TV seven days a week; I am pretty sure we can not only assure a Democratic victory but also make it a landslide in the range of 60/40!
If you doubt me, check out this list of statements from Eat the Press. Try to identify which statements are Ann's and which are from Stephen Colbert:
"Even Islamic terrorists don't hate America like liberals do. They don't have the energy. If they had that much energy, they'd have indoor plumbing by now."
"There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to hell."
"I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for breaking the law."
"Being nice to people is, in fact, one of the incidental tenets of Christianity, as opposed to other religions whose tenets are more along the lines of 'Kill everyone who doesn't smell bad and answer to the name Muhammad.'"
"I believe that everyone has the right to their own religion, be you Hindu, Muslim, or Jewish. I believe there are infinite paths to accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior."
"[North Korea] is a major threat. I just think it would be fun to nuke them and have it be a warning to the rest of the world."
"Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?"
(Answers: Coulter 1, 4,6 Colbert 2, 3, 5, 7) See, you can't tell Ann Coulter apart from Colbert's right-mocking over-the-top sarcasm. And the beauty is that the Republicans think Ann is one of them!
My suggestion: Draft Ann Coulter as a VP candidate for Guliani, Thompson, or whichever GOP candidate earns the nom. On paper, it would seem to counter the female empowerment angle that Hilary is working, but in reality Coulter's stupid comments will drive more voters to the middle.
Okay, this is like saying a squirrel has fur, but Amy Winehouse really has no decorum. This talented young woman has been in treatment for substance abuse, and her new live DVD will come with a pint glass. My friend John mused that a syringe would be crossing some sort of line. I figure she should just go all the way and include a coupon for a tattoo parlor, a gallon of eyeliner, and your own free week in rehab.
While there's nothing funny about what this guy is accused of doing (assaulting his 79-year-old mother), you gotta admit he finds a direct, quick, and foolproof way of getting the reporter off his front porch. I'm sure this will work for any unwelcome visitors. Give it a try and post here with your results!
Maybe it's counter-productive to call attention to an offensive ad for a company no one has ever heard of. Posting info about the company would only provide the sort of attention it obviously craves. And no organization that would use the headline, "Don't feel bad, our servers won't go down on you either" deserves any free PR.
So, we're not naming the company and we blocked out its name in the ad below. We hope it slinks back into anonymity where it belongs.
What I find most offensive isn't merely the use of sex to sell servers or the complete objectification of women. Instead, it's that this company thinks the tech world is populated with hormonal men with stunted maturity and a sexual obsession. Not only has it been my experience that many women work in the IT field, but I have also found that "geeks" tend to be terrific, mature professionals who would find this sort of ad to be offensive shit.
Heinz is running a "Top This TV Challenge" with consumers creating their own Heinz 57 Ketchup commercials.
Brands are doing this a lot lately. Apparently, rather than pay an agency hundreds of thousands of dollars for a new ad campaign crafted by professionals, they'd prefer to dangle several thousand dollars to see what you and I can produce in our spare time. The concept is sound enough--involve lots of people in your brand and get a lot of viral buzz--but I wonder if the brands often consider the ramifications.
Ramifications, you ask? Just watch the videos below. If you're going to ask for UGC (User Generated Content), then you'd better be ready for UGC (Unsuitably Graphic Comedy). These days, everyone's a comedian. Just not a very good one.
Some of the following are rated PG-13. Don't ask. Just watch.
Here's an ad that appears to have been made by a bunch of preteen boys. The ad is aimed at women, yet it insults them, their hygiene, and their body parts in the crudest of ways.
While the voice over speaks of itch and odor "down there," the ad shows shots of a fish, a skunk, a porcupine, and a lobster.
"Down there"!?!? It sounds like a punch line out of "King of Queens": "Honey, could you pick me up a box of tampons while you're at the store getting beer?" "What, you expect me to be seen with a product for... down there!"
And comparing women's genitalia to stinky, dirty animals and fish? I'm speechless!
Watch for this agency's next ad, an ED medication spot featuring droopy flowers, raw hot dogs, and wet spaghetti.
A couple days ago I posted a sad video of American soldiers mocking Iraqi children. Here's a similar video that just makes my blood boil. Thousands of Americans are stuck in Iraq trying to achieve U.S. objectives, and a couple jerks undermine it all by treating Iraqis with disrespect.
Do these guys ever stop and think what their behavior is encouraging? Do they think this sort of BS will encourage Iraqis to work with the US? Will the kids in this video grow up to respect Americans as caring people or think we're all assholes?
Maybe our soldiers need more training on diplomacy. If so, they can turn to "A Short Guide to Iraq," produced in 1943 by the US War and Navy Departments for troops shipping to Iraq to fight Hitler. The irony is that while much of it is obviously dated, some of the sentiment could go a long way today:
You will enter Iraq both as a soldier and as an individual, because on our side a man can be both a soldier and an individual. That is our strength—if we are smart enough to use it. It can be our weakness if we aren't. As a soldier your duties are laid out for you. As an individual, it is what you do on your own that counts—and it may count for a lot more than you think.
By what you do and how you act you can do a lot to win this war and the peace after it. Right now Iraq is threatened with invasion—as America is now. The Iraqis have some religious and tribal differences among themselves. Hitler has been trying to use these differences to his own ends. If you can win the trust and friendship of all the Iraqis you meet, you will do more than you may think possible to help bring them together in our common cause.
Replace "Hitler" with "Al Qaeda" and not a lot has changed in 64 years. Depressing, isn't it? All the more depressing when videos like this pop up on the Internet. Makes me wonder if our children won't be facing the same types of problems we are today. Maybe in 20 years an Iraqi will be taking aim at an American soldier and thinking back to a time when some mocking GIs in the back of a truck made him run for water.
This video got me angry. If this sort of behavior is common, than we've not only lost the war in Iraq but planted the seeds for more hatred of the kind of shallow, arrogant, brutish behavior that so much of the world seems to expect from Americans.
So many good men and women risking their lives, and all it takes is a couple of jackasses with no brains to ruin it all. (Foul language - Rated R.)
So, who do you want to punch more in this video: The sleazy tanning salon sales guy or the mean-spirited mother? I think we have to go with the mother, who clearly shouldn't be allowed near any child ever again. Especially her own.
Watch this video and count how many times she subtly undermines her daughter's self confidence. Someone please save this little girl!
Umm, this just ain't right. For those of you who for 40 years have been waiting to see Marcia, Bobby, and Sam the Butcher in a sordid threesome, I guess your sorry day has arrived. Not the Bradys XXX is coming to an adult video store near you, complete with Ron Jeremy as Sam the Butcher. (Isn't Ron getting a little old for adult video? I'd find out, but I'm afraid to look!)
The video is rated X, but the MySpace site is just rated R (for Repulsive and Repugnant).
Marty Feldman--whose trademark bulging eyes were the result of an operation to correct a thyroid condition in his late twenties--was an award-winning writer and comic actor, who stole the show in movies such as Young Frankenstein and Silent Movie.
Feldman began writing situation comedies and acting for British TV in the 1950s. In the late 60s he began writing and acting on At Last the 1948 Show, appearing with John Cleese and Graham Chapman. Some of his skits became inspiration for Monty Python's material. The height of his fame with American audiences was in Mel Brooks' movies in the 70s.
He passed away too young at the age of 49 in December 1982. "I am too old to die young, and too young to grow up," he told a reporter a week before he died. Feldman is buried in Forest Lawn near his idol, Buster Keaton.
Learn more about the great Marty Feldman on Wikipedia, IMDB, and BFI.
