A Different Sort of Mother's Day Ad

Not sure if this ad is offensive, funny, or both. It certainly stands out from the usual treacly ads that fill the airwaves before Mother's Day.

The Daily Show: Rob Riggle on Bush's Iraq Strategy

Why is The Daily Show always at its funniest when it's saddest?

Joe Jackson's Greatest Hits

I'm going to see Joe Jackson Monday night. He's composed and performed music since the 70s, earning five Grammy nominations and charting with hits such as "Is She Really Going Out with Him?", "Steppin' Out", and "You Can't Get What You Want (Till You Know What You Want)".

Joe is known for his literate lyrics and catchy pop/rock melodies. For your enjoyment, here are some of Joe's songs, lyrics, and music videos.

The Obvious Song

There was a man in the jungle
Trying to make ends meet
Found himself one day with an axe in his hand
When a voice said Buddy can you spare that tree?
We gotta save the world, starting with your land.
It was a rock 'n' roll millionaire from the USA,
Doing 3 to the gallon in a big white car,
And he sang and he sang 'til he polluted the air,
And he blew a lot of smoke from a Cuban cigar.

Nineteen Forever

Only my mirror sees me crying,
Each time I lose another year.
Wouldn't be a drag to be like you,
Settling down and having kids,
and telling them what to do?
Well I'm gonna stay nineteen forever!

Steppin' Out (briefly featuring a Miller Lite logo)

We are young but getting old before our time,
Well leave the TV and the radio behind,
Dont you wonder what well find,
Steppin' out tonight.

Real Men
(Note about the lyrics: Much like Randy Newman, Joe Jackson often writes from the perspective of less pleasant or confident characters as a way of telling a story.)

Man makes a gun,
Man goes to war,
Man can kill and man can drink
And man can take a whore.
Kill all the blacks,
Kill all the reds,
And if there's war between the sexes
Then there'll be no people left.

Is She Really Going Out With Him?

Tonights the night when I go to all the parties down my street.
I wash my hair and I kid myself I look real smooth.
Look over there! (Where?)
Here comes Jeanie with her new boyfriend.
They say that looks dont count for much.
If so, there goes your proof.

Juno Abridged Script

The-Editing-Room has a hilarious spoof on the Juno script. I really liked the movie and I was pleased first-time writer Diablo Cody took home the Oscar. Still, you have to love the way this faux script dissects the movie's excessive quirkiness:

ELLEN sits down to talk to her father and stepmother.

ELLEN PAGE: So, I'm pregnant.

J.K. SIMMONS: WHAT YOU'RE FUCKING 16 WHAT THE FU-

ELLEN PAGE: Dad, you're in an indie flick, remember?

J.K. SIMMONS: Oh right. Sorry, I didn't mean to blow up, I meant to make a dry, sarcastic remark.

ALLISON JANNEY: And I'd like to follow that up with a second barb.

ELLEN PAGE: It's Michael Cera's. The kid from Arrested Development.

J.K. SIMMONS: Huh. I didn't think he had it in him.

ELLEN PAGE: What, sperm?

Read the entire "script" on Cracked.com.

Sexual Harassment PSA

Sexual Harassment is no laughing matter... except to Funny or Die and Hayden Panettiere. "Sexual Harassment is wrong, even if it makes you feel good."

Ten Things I Hate About Commandments

With Charleston's passing, I am not sure of the fate of this upcoming movie. (Rated PG for one bad word--don't use the speakers at work.)

Getting into the opponents head

Even if you're not a basketball fan, you'll get a smile from the story of Speedo man, Coach K, and a secret weapon that helped Duke University win one particular game.

Gay Scientists Isolate Gay Gene

Posted without comment (other than that I laughed aloud):

Obama Girl is Back

it isn't as catchy as "I've got a Crush on Obama." Or as funny. Or as good. But what the heck, Obama Girl is back telling Hillary her campaign is just helping McCain...

What Scientologists Actually Believe

Attention South Park Fans: Every single episode is now available online... legally.

SouthParkStudios.com has launched, and it contains full episodes as well as favorite clips, such as the one below describing what Scientologists actually believe. Kick ass!

"Don't speak for anybody in here except yourself f*ck face"

Let me start this post with a couple of observations: I use the word "f*ck." I hear the word "f*ck" used a lot. In my relaxed work environment, it is not unusual to hear the word "f*ck." And it almost never offends me. But even though I am pretty tough to offend, I was offended by the word "f*ck" while reading a news item today.

(Let me also note that I am attempting to keep this blog, if not family friendly, at least sorta appropriate, which is why you generally won't find anything overly offensive or sexual on MartyFeldmanizeMe.com and why I use "f*ck" instead of the word itself. I started this blog with a promise to myself to have this be a f*ck-free zone.)

A federal judge has levied sanctions of more than $29,000 on a lawyer and his client because the client was incredibly vulgar at a deposition, and his lawyer did nothing about it. GMAC is suing HTFC Corp., and as a result Aaron Wider, the CEO of HTFC, was deposed.

His hostility and vulgarity in a professional setting is breathtaking. It also shines a light, at least in a small way, into the dark corners of the mortgage industry, a business category with a significant responsibility for the economic issues we face today thanks to actions that either broke or bent rules. If Wilder is an example of the folks in the mortgage business, it's no wonder the industry collapsed on its own hubris and ignorance.

You can read more on Law.com, but here are examples of some of the examplary professional conduct displayed by the CEO of HTFC Corp. (You can also get an idea of the professionalism of this organization by their unbelievably cheesy web site--music, bad animation of dollar bills, and clip art abound.):

• In one passage, GMAC's lawyer, Robert B. Bodzin asked Wider to open a file so that Bodzin could ask questions about certain documents. According to the transcript Wider erupted, saying: '"I'm taking a break. F*ck him. You open up the document. You want me to look at something, you get the document out. Earn your f*cking money @sshole. Isn't the law wonderful?"'
  
• In another passage, Bodzin said: "We're going to adjourn this deposition if this happens again because you are offending every single person." According to Robreno's opinion, Wider responded: '"Don't speak for anybody in here except yourself f*ck face."

You can read more about the embarrassing Mr. Wilder on Consumerist.com.

Your TV Cube

With the television networks all now offering online reruns of most of their shows, several sites have popped up to try to provide you with easy access to all that video. Below is the TV Cube from PrimeTimeRewind.TV. Click and drag to turn the cube, then click on a show to open a window where the latest episode can play.

So, in case you don't already watch too much TV, here you go...

It's 3 am and Hillary is getting calls from annoyed voters

Hillary Clinton took a page out of the GOP playbook in the run-up to the Texas primary by launching an ad that played on fear. The ad featured children sleeping with the sound of a ringing telephone--the red phone at the White House. The ad asks, when its 3 am and there's a crisis in the world, "Who do you want answering the phone?"

This being 2008, the Internet community wasn't going to sit back and let Hillary claim to have experience when her primary claim seems to be that she slept in the White House next to the President for 8 years. So, YouTube is now so slammed with parody ads that it's actually difficult to find the real one.

For your viewing pleasure, here are some of the parodies and criticisms Clinton's ad has generated.

The Booze Test

This one goes out to my friends. (You know who you are!)

I found this booze test to be too easy, which perhaps says more about me than about the test. I scored an 83, which earned me the Lush designation.

83%LUSH

Mr. Deity

The Mr. Deity series continues to be some of the most consistently funny stuff on the Internet. Here is Season 2, Episode 8, with God and Larry discussing good and evil, fundamentalism, ideology, and bestiality.

From Crackle: Mr. Deity and the Good - Season 2, Ep 8

New Ironman Trailer

I'm not really a fan of superhero movies, but Robert Downey Jr. makes this one look terrific.

Baby Got Many Backs

Is "Baby Got Back" the most covered song of the past two decades? Check out all the versions, from Gilbert and Sullivan to folkie. The original video is the last in the list below. (And no, that isn't really Kidz Bop rapping--it's a parody.

Mac vs. PC - South Park Style

The Mac vs. PC ads are often copied and mocked, but this version gets it right...

Thanks to Micah for sharing it.

Parents talk sex with daughter

Very funny ad. I can't tell you what it's for, since that would ruin the suspense. (I wonder if this has run anywhere yet.) [Via OtherCrap]

Stewie goes to high school

Stewie bets Brian he can pose as a student and become the coolest kid in high school within a week. He snows the kids with lines such as, "I wear long-sleeved shirts under short-sleeved shirts under long-sleeved shirts," and "I took a bunch of pictures; you can see them on my MySpace page along with my favorite songs and movies and things that other people have created but that I use to express my individualism." And, as always, Family Guy takes it to unexpected, uncomfortable, and hilarious places.